Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i think my cat just said my name.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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