I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
