So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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