My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
