Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
