You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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