Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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