we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
