My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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