we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
