im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
