I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize