You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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