Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just had sex bonerless
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize