Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize