you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i now understand why vodka
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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