he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
try to milk me bitch
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
