Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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