i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
