I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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