Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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