Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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