actually, I'm a sock model
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize