sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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