Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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