You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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