My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize