i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
birth control should be required to get into college
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
