I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Im part way to drunk.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
