I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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