normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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