Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
