My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
