i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
