I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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