let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
