i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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