Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
