ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
