The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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