So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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