I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You've changed since you got that strap on
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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