everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Randomize
