now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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