I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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