yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
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This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
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A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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