This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
