I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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