I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
