he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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