it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize