So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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