i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize