There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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