He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
