Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Houston, we have a squirter
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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