I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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