Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
